Spiral Splatter review – “Splat Splat Splat”

I used to hate buzz wire games as a child. I don’t know why, but everyone seemed to have one when I went round for Tea. My skills with these games match those of Michael J. Fox trying to use a pen.

Enter Spiral Splatter, the buzz wire puzzler for a new generation. Now I never said these types of game were bad; they just bloody infuriate me. Just like Spiral Splatter!

I mean ‘infuriate’ in the sense that it pissed me off that my hand to eye co-ordination Is exposed In all its poor form In Spiral Splatter. And that’s the learning curve here, it doesn’t get easier!

Electric Design

The game’s levels are set into stages with a 3-star rating like most Arcade games of the past decade. You need to guide a white dot around a variety of levels that contain various barriers, traps, moving parts, teleporters and f**kery In general. It’s like playing Operation, but as time goes on you have to navigate a leg bone around the patient’s cardiovascular system.

This writer is not one to shy away from a puzzling challenge in a game, especially one that has so much variation for such a small price point but this game scares me. I mean some of these levels make me want to cry. If time is getting on, your ghost starts playing and splats you if it catches up. By the way, that’s how you die, by splatting.

The game doesn’t have a life counter or major penalties for dying, which prevents my poor skills from becoming too much of an issue. there’s only one way to beat this game, “git gud”.

Presentation

The soundtrack is an ethereal one taking me back to the N+ days. Explosion/failure sound effects sound like someone’s blowing raspberries on my speaker cones. But this isn’t a title that really depends on any sound, at all.

Graphically, it’s clean and crisp. SS never tries to go overboard and pretend it’s something it’s not. This along with the spot on level design presents a lovingly crafted game within the Unity Engine.

My one actual gripe about this quirky Switch title? If you’re an avid handheld user you have to detach your Joy Cons, press L and R and detach again. Apparently, you need to play it holding the Joy Cons or use a Pro Controller. There is no reason behind this, it’s very silly, like Camelot!

My verdict? For €4.99 there’s very little to complain about. However, if you hate ‘buzz wire’ games you need to put this title in the sea. Other than that, if you like a challenge and love being punished when you’re weak or have been added by an affliction of poor hand to eye co-ordination, Go for it, you absolute legend you!

Formats: Switch (Reviewed), Xbox One, PS4, Steam, Android, iOS
Price: €4.99
Publisher: Sometimes You
Developer: Neon Chimp Games
Release Date: 13/03/2018 (Switch)
Age Rating: Everyone